So Mama Rhoda arrived yesterday. She owns the compound where I live. It's like I imagine itinerant housing for migrant workers in the 1920s would look. Two rows of four units. Electricity but no kitchen, water or toilet. Only a living area and bedroom. Her unmarried sons occupy three units and their babies and baby mamas live in three. She rents another to a single Mom with two kids and then there is my unit. Her sons manage the compound, handymen (kinda), burn the trash, feed the cows and chickens and plant the garden.
So when I came in from work with Sukari yesterday, I stopped to greet her and chat for a few minutes. She said she was happy to see me on her once a month visit.
This morning as I was walking out for work with Sukari, she ran out screeching at me in her best KaSwEnglish (an incomprehensible mix of Kalingen, Swahili and British English). I managed to decifer the gist which was basically "Sukari ni mafi na spoiling my compound." Meaning, Sukari is shitting and ruining my grass. She promptly ushered me over to the area in question as we dodged spots of chicken squirts and massive piles of loosey-goosey cowpies to show me the evidence. NO WAY! Believe me. If Sukari had pushed out that poo she would have hemorrhoids the size of gonads! In my best SwEnglish, I stated that the evidence belonged to the hood dogs that prowl the rotting garbage piles at night. She didn't believe there were any other dogs around. I showed her where Sukari prefers to squat, outside my front door area by the fence, and informed her that I scoop the poop and put it in the trash pile. I got that 'sure you do' look from her. I promised that she could come to me at any time and I would gladly remove any droppings that had been deposited elsewhere.
So Sukari and I proceeded on to work with her glaring after me down the road. As I walked off my anger I thought of telling her how she really needed to attend to a few things for me. Like maybe dig me a new choo since mine is full and flooded. Or repair the roof where water runs down the walls in my living room area and is beginning to mildew. Or maybe ask her boys to keep the cows and chickens from crapping in my front yard so I won't have to leap like a high jumper over their evidence! But then I remembered that my boss is late on my rent. So I'll hold my thoughts for a bit in case I would piss her off and she would evict me.
Wish I had a picture of Mama Rhoda to show you. I don't. If I did I would probably use my paint app and draw a wild mustache, crossed eyes and freckles on her the way we used to do in grade school. Maybe even a wicked mole or two with a long hair growing from each of them.
We arrive at a local hoteli at 9:55 for a 10am meeting and hang out till 10:30 with noone in sight. I tell the manager he needs to set up the room for our meeting, which he does. Then I call my boss to ask if the meeting had been moved. No. It was cancelled last night and he forgot to call me. Great. Thanks alot.Now I look like a stupid muzungu having the room all set up for nothing.
In the meantime, some days just suck.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Just Shake Your Head and Laugh
There are all kinds of crazy things that happen to each of us every day. Sometimes we cause them but often they just occur. When they do, the best response is to just shake your head and laugh! I would like to share a few of those inane things that happened to me recently.
The choo:Also known as the outdoor toilet. Well, it's the rainy season now which means the downpours usually start around 4pm and last all night. That's ALOT of water!!! And it happens every day. So last week I went out for a morning constitution, opened the door and it was flooded. Not exactly what you want to see or smell first thing in the day, right. So I just shook my head and laughed. It took about 30 minutes to muck it all out with a short broom, slosh it with buckets of water and beat away the flies and mosquitos. Unfortunately I will probably have to do that agin soon.
AGM: This is the Annual General Meeting, or shareholders meeting, held for every stock organization. Kenyans normally dont own stock like we do but they do purchase shares in their local credit union as a requirement for membership. It's often the most important asset they have. So the annual meeting is a really big deal and draws a big crowd. As you would expect, the Board of Directors gives speeches and financial reports about the SACCO (which is where I work) and try to paint a rosy picture. Well, my SACCO is truly 'circling the bowl' and I would be shocked if they survive for the next year. So, my boss gets up and states how things are "going along really well" yada yada yada. You guessed it. I just shook my head and laughed.
Hakuna stima: My SACCO is required to pay my electric each month in exchange for me being a volunteer. On Holy Thursday the stima goes out around 4pm. I hear my neighbors stereo blaring so I realize it's just me having a problem. So I call my boss to ask if he paid the bill. His response was "let me check on it and I will call you back." I break out my candles and make it through the night. Of course I didn't get a call back. The next morning at work I ask for a status report. "I'm going to pay it today." I just shook my head and laughed. I was very insistent that he jump right on it for alot of reasons: it's a holiday weekend, my fridge is full of food, they have to personally come to the house and reconnect it, I'm going out of town for the holiday etc. I get back on Monday and am greeted with a stench wafting thru my door and I KNEW, hakuna stima. All the food in my fridge had rotted and water from the freezer section had leeched out onto the floor. Disgusting. My voice definitely had a different tone on the next phone call and he promised to do it the next day. 7pm the next evening a little guy arrived on a piki-piki and reconnected the power. And to my boss it was not a big deal. The bill was only $2. He definitely has a procrastination problem.
Missing groceries: After the stima fiasco of course I needed to restock my food. I hit the stores after work and was carrying two boxes of food and Sukari on her leash. I saw my usual taxi driver and opened the back door of his taxi, plopped my boxes on the seat and told him I would be back in five minutes. I headed off to another shop to buy some sprite and eggs. We walk back to where the taxi was parked and it wasnt there! I looked everywhere, walked around the block, asked people if they had seen Kim. They said Kim is at the taxi stand. I trek to the taxi stand and ask Kim why he left me and had my groceries inside. He shook his head and said "you didn't take my taxi!" I just shook my head and laughed. I had put my stuff in someone elses taxi! Kim was kind enough to drive me around to look for the guy after we found out who it was. The guy had gotten another fare and had taken off. When he came back I reloaded into Kim's cab and listened to him chastise me all the way home.
Well aside from the pain in the ass stuff, there are a few bright notes.
I finally have my shower table/kitchen sink/laundry table. Only took four months. The first one the guy made, the holes were too big and the bowls fell through. So now I can do all my chores standing without wrenching my back. It seems luxurious.
And with the rains, my garden is thriving.
This is my lettuce. Yum, yum. I can have a salad soon!!! Got my olive oil and balsamic waiting.
Here's my zucchini jumping out of the box.
And this is my okra that will make some amazing stir fry veggies.
This was supposed to be my garden plot. I spent hours hauling the rocks and dirt. Then when it was time to plant, I noticed one of the local dogs reclaiming her hidden bones from my plot. Bummer. So I decided to be safe and plant them in the window boxes I hauled two hours from Eldoret. Just today I reclaimed my plot. I fished through all the dirt, unearthed the hidden bones, put them where they would easily be found and transplanted my zucchini. It was getting a bit cramped in the box. I then used the boxes as a kind of fence up inside the perimeter. Hopefully the little seedlings will be safe. Got my eyes peeled for the dog!
There are a couple of things I will be ecstatic to leave behind in Kenya. One: the smell of burning charcoal. They use it in small round burners, perched outside, to cook food. When it rains or is cold, they get hauled INSIDE to provide heat as well. Can you imagine breathing that all night? The thought of grilling food at home is actually repulsive right now.
Secondly, the smell of burning garbage, especially plastic bottles. I feel like I'm inhaling a toxic waste dump. There is no garbage collection, so everything is dumped in one heap outside, doused with kerosene and set ablaze. The stench is breath-taking. And not in a good way. My tummy does flips whenever either of these occur.
That's it for now. Today is Mother's Day so be sure to call your Mama with big love or remember her with special prayers. Missing my baby girl, Stephanie, especially today with tender memories of our Mother's Day outings together. Kisses baby girl!
The choo:Also known as the outdoor toilet. Well, it's the rainy season now which means the downpours usually start around 4pm and last all night. That's ALOT of water!!! And it happens every day. So last week I went out for a morning constitution, opened the door and it was flooded. Not exactly what you want to see or smell first thing in the day, right. So I just shook my head and laughed. It took about 30 minutes to muck it all out with a short broom, slosh it with buckets of water and beat away the flies and mosquitos. Unfortunately I will probably have to do that agin soon.
AGM: This is the Annual General Meeting, or shareholders meeting, held for every stock organization. Kenyans normally dont own stock like we do but they do purchase shares in their local credit union as a requirement for membership. It's often the most important asset they have. So the annual meeting is a really big deal and draws a big crowd. As you would expect, the Board of Directors gives speeches and financial reports about the SACCO (which is where I work) and try to paint a rosy picture. Well, my SACCO is truly 'circling the bowl' and I would be shocked if they survive for the next year. So, my boss gets up and states how things are "going along really well" yada yada yada. You guessed it. I just shook my head and laughed.
Hakuna stima: My SACCO is required to pay my electric each month in exchange for me being a volunteer. On Holy Thursday the stima goes out around 4pm. I hear my neighbors stereo blaring so I realize it's just me having a problem. So I call my boss to ask if he paid the bill. His response was "let me check on it and I will call you back." I break out my candles and make it through the night. Of course I didn't get a call back. The next morning at work I ask for a status report. "I'm going to pay it today." I just shook my head and laughed. I was very insistent that he jump right on it for alot of reasons: it's a holiday weekend, my fridge is full of food, they have to personally come to the house and reconnect it, I'm going out of town for the holiday etc. I get back on Monday and am greeted with a stench wafting thru my door and I KNEW, hakuna stima. All the food in my fridge had rotted and water from the freezer section had leeched out onto the floor. Disgusting. My voice definitely had a different tone on the next phone call and he promised to do it the next day. 7pm the next evening a little guy arrived on a piki-piki and reconnected the power. And to my boss it was not a big deal. The bill was only $2. He definitely has a procrastination problem.
Missing groceries: After the stima fiasco of course I needed to restock my food. I hit the stores after work and was carrying two boxes of food and Sukari on her leash. I saw my usual taxi driver and opened the back door of his taxi, plopped my boxes on the seat and told him I would be back in five minutes. I headed off to another shop to buy some sprite and eggs. We walk back to where the taxi was parked and it wasnt there! I looked everywhere, walked around the block, asked people if they had seen Kim. They said Kim is at the taxi stand. I trek to the taxi stand and ask Kim why he left me and had my groceries inside. He shook his head and said "you didn't take my taxi!" I just shook my head and laughed. I had put my stuff in someone elses taxi! Kim was kind enough to drive me around to look for the guy after we found out who it was. The guy had gotten another fare and had taken off. When he came back I reloaded into Kim's cab and listened to him chastise me all the way home.
Well aside from the pain in the ass stuff, there are a few bright notes.
And with the rains, my garden is thriving.
There are a couple of things I will be ecstatic to leave behind in Kenya. One: the smell of burning charcoal. They use it in small round burners, perched outside, to cook food. When it rains or is cold, they get hauled INSIDE to provide heat as well. Can you imagine breathing that all night? The thought of grilling food at home is actually repulsive right now.
Secondly, the smell of burning garbage, especially plastic bottles. I feel like I'm inhaling a toxic waste dump. There is no garbage collection, so everything is dumped in one heap outside, doused with kerosene and set ablaze. The stench is breath-taking. And not in a good way. My tummy does flips whenever either of these occur.
That's it for now. Today is Mother's Day so be sure to call your Mama with big love or remember her with special prayers. Missing my baby girl, Stephanie, especially today with tender memories of our Mother's Day outings together. Kisses baby girl!
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