Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Home Ain't What It Used To Be

I'm penning this from Nairobi where I will be seeing the drive-thru dentist in the morning for a root canal on that troublesome tooth.  I call him that because he can do an exam and cleaning in 30 minutes flat! When PCVs come to Nairobi we are booked at the government rate at the Kenyan Continental Hotel.  It's in a decent part of town, has free wifi and hot water.  Those are the good things.  The flip side is that it is a ghetto hotel, no screens on the windows or bars.  I like to stay in the 'new wing' where the rooms are bigger and you get a chair in your room.  Not supposed to stay on this wing though because one time a PCV came back to her room to find a couple of workers 'gettin it on' in her bed in the middle of the day.  Whatever.  We are in Kenya. We often have lots of other peeps here to keep us company as they traverse from other areas to the PC office on business or just passing through on a vaca.  We often put out alerts looking to share a room on the PC dime.  It's not uncommon to have five peeps in a room with a mattress pulled off the bed or sleeping in purloined chairs to bed down for free.  We are cheap!  Did I really say that?  One of the unique things about the rooms is the cleaning. Think wish and a prayer and god forbid if they wipe the zillion dead mosquitos off the walls that we have squished on our visits.  They must be trophys!

Anyhoo, this missive is about my burning yen to take Sukari to visit MaMa in Maralal.  Ever since I left there in January, I have been dreaming about a doggie reunion and a chance to see Father Jorge again.  But a two day, 18 hour matatu trip was out of the question.  I needed a free lift.

I got that opportunity when my friend Maggie called to say some people she knew were coming to Kenya to scout out a location to do a reforestation project.  They thought the arid lands around Maralal would be ideal and needed a scout with connections.  I'm in.  They agreed to my terms which included taking Sukari and getting us back to Kabarnet three days later by non matatu transport.

I met them at a local Kabarnet hotel where they had hired an uptown matatu (think clean, cushioned seats and knowledgeable driver) which had brought them from Nairobi and would squire them on their trek.  They were a family of four, Jewish, vegan, formerly from the US, now living in India, alternative lifestyles and had done projects like this in India and Haiti.  They also had their business manager along to assess the situation--a nice Indian gal from Dallas. I KNEW this was going to be an interesting ride!

We were an hour late leaving since they needed to eat their breakfast in and out of the matatu.  Imagine a clan with a 4 and 12 year old girls, noshing avocados and watermelon without implements.  Quite a sight.
Picture what you would look like after a food fight and you get the picture.

And we're off.  Chatting them up along the way, I ask how they managed to arrange a month off from school.  Well.  They don't go to school--they are 'unschooled' which means they believe in learning from life experiences.  When the child feels the need to learn, say math or science, in greater depth then they will teach them.  This 'openness' also applies to discipline.  There isn't any.  Children can do as they please as long as it is not harmful to another.  But, that harm doesn't include rudeness, inconsideration or bad manners.  Because these things are not harmful.  Okaaaaaaaaaay.  Holy Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

An hour into the trip I began to feel like I had hitched a ride on the 'Little Miss Sunshine" bus with the 'Fockers" enroute to 'Woodstock'.  AND, I had arranged for them to stay with me at my old house on Father Jorge's Catholic compound?  Whoooooooooa.  This sounds like a movie, right?

Sukari didn't mind the people but she was not digging the long matatu trip.  He longest ride as a big girl was 5km to our house each day in a taxi.  So she hurled constantly,  Everyone was cool about it and we would stop when she did to take a piece of paper and scoop out the upchuck and proceed.  What should have taken 4.5 hours took 9.  We had to stop for everything, including a few 'family conferences' when one of the kids had a temper tantrum (yep, the 12 y/o) and they would chat it out.  Excuuuuse me. 

By the time we arrived after dark, I was ready to kill someone.  We arrived at Father Jorge's compound and I rattled the gate for the watchman to open up.  My head was swirling with excited thoughts of how Sukari would sniff MaMa, tail wagging and they would be off running as MaMa wagged her tail with joy to see her baby girl again and show her around her former home.  But just in case, I kept Sukari on her leash.

The watchman was opening the gate with MaMa on her leash and I called to her.  She was over the moon with excitement at the sound of my voice.  I went inside first, alone, to give her some love.  When I had wiped the doggy kisses off my face and dirt off my clothes from her tackle, I went to get Sukari.  She had smelled MaMa, knew who she was and was whining and wagging her tail with joy.  I led her inside for the nose-to-nose  and then all hell broke loose.  When I would touch Sukari, MaMa would growl, bark and try to nip her.  Not a good thing.  Okay.  Leashes will stay on for a while longer.

We got settled in my house after kisses and hugs from Father.  Immediately upon entering, the 4 y/o strips naked and proceeds to go about moseying around. She decided that it was time for some watermelon.  So her mom cut one from their food storage in half, put it on the table and the two kids dove in.  With their hands!  No slicing, no utensils.  Just take that paw and grab a big hunk and nosh on it. Or better yet, put your whole face in it. It was like watching sharks at a feeding frenzy!  Soon seeds, juice, and rinds covered the table and floor. I mentioned to the 12 y/o that she should wipe up the table and floor or we would have a colony of ants feasting in the morning.  I got a hairy eyeball look and then she called "Mama."  Who came and cleaned up all the mess.  You gotta be kidding me!  Then Mom stated that it was time for a shower and the temper tantrums began.  By both girls.  The whole family retreated to the tiny 4X6 bathroom, closed the door and held a family conference in private.  The end result being Mom agreed to give the girls a bucket bath.  This meant they would stand in the shower area while Mom would splash buckets of water on their soapy bodies.  Conclusion?  The whole bathroom was flooded and I needed a shower.  I asked the 12 y/o to wipe up the floor so I could have some dry space and once again got that 'piss off' look.  Well. I'm pissed now.  So I picked up HER towel and wiped up the floor with it, handed the soppy towel back to her and closed the door in her face. Brat!

Thankfully they had meetings with my contacts each day scouting land so I had the days free to visit my peeps, play with MaMa and chat up Father Jorge.  Sukari loved roaming a huge compound fancy free.  I knew when she went to visit MaMa, who was kept on her leash, because I would hear the barking and growling.  Sukari gets high marks for trying.  MaMa was just way too jealous to befriend her.  I'm sure Sukari had a few heart pangs because once I caught her sitting a leash distance away from MaMa just looking at her while wagging her tail.  I bet she was thinking 'what happened to all the motherly love?' and wishing it could be different.  One visit I made to MaMa with Sukari, MaMa managed to get free of her leash and bounded after Sukari.  Sukari immediately went into the submissive position, MaMa sniffed and then started to growl.  Not a menacing 'I'm gonna bite you growl' but a warning growl.  I called to her and she immediately stopped and came over to be with me.  I put her back on her leash in her doghouse.  I don't think she would have bitten Sukari but I wasn't going to test it knowing there is no vet that treats dogs in Maralal.  Camels and cows, yep. Dogs, not so much.

One evening I went out to dinner with my pals in Maralal and left Sukari at home alone.  When the 'Fockers' returned (they told me this later), Sukari wanted to go outside but they were proud to say they didn't let her. Sukari would stand at the door and bark but they did not let her go out.  Of course this was 'distressing' to Sukari.  So the Mom decided Sukari needed something for anxiety.  She reached into her medicine bag (did I mention they practice herbal medicine?) and dissolved a pill into her water.  Then tried to get her to drink it but she just barked at them and wouldn't.  Upon hearing this story, I explained that Sukari has been trained not to eat or drink anything if home alone so she wont have to toilet in the house.  BUT, when I come home she can go outside to take care of business and that was why she acted the way she did. 'Oh.'  Duh!!!!

After 4 days with the wackadoodles, Sukari and I needed to escape so I told them to arrange my transport back to Kabarnet.  They were going to stay till Sunday and I needed to get back, PLUS I am nearly insane now anyway.  So their driver went to town and hired a local with a nice car.  But he couldn't leave that day because to make a long trip, he needed to get the starter fixed.  Yep, that would be a good thing.  So we headed out in his nice station wagon on Friday morning.  Sukari had constant anxiety drool but no barfing.  Guess she is a seasoned traveler now.  By the time we arrived at Marigat after 4 hours on dusty ravine roads and found the tarmac once again, this car is now a POS.  There are rattles everywhere and the wheels sound and feel like they will fall off the car.  We stop several times for him to haul out the lug wrench and tighten them up.  Doesn't do any good because the alignment is shot.  He asks about a garage in Kabarnet for realignment the next day.  We drove the last 60km at 30km/hr for fear the car would lose control.  Painful!!!

So we were happy to be back home again.  The 'Fockers' found  some land for a site.  And, I have seen enough of a four year old's vagina to last a lifetime, and sparred with an illiterate pre-teen enough to never want to be around another one.  And Sukari?  At least she got to see and sniff MaMa even if they didn't romp in the grass together.  Maybe in her dreams she can do that.

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